Chapter 7 - I Refused to Make Sofia the Villain of My Marriage
Friends wanted to hate Sofia for me.
It was tempting.
Easier than examining five years with Dante.
My mother called her “that woman.”
Maya used words I won’t repeat.
I stopped them.
Not because Sofia deserved protection from consequences.
Because making her the villain made Dante too passive.
He was my husband.
He had made vows to me.
She had not.
The affair was theirs.
The marriage was ours.
That distinction helped.
I moved into a furnished apartment overlooking the river.
Three months.
Then decide.
Dante remained in our condo.
He asked if I wanted him to leave instead.
I said no.
I needed somewhere new.
The first week was terrible.
Silence everywhere.
I kept expecting his keys at the door.
His coffee grinder at 6:30.
His hand against my back while passing in the kitchen.
Betrayal does not erase muscle memory.
One night I almost called him because a storm started.
Dante knew thunderstorms made me anxious.
I had slept through hundreds with him beside me.
I reached for my phone.
Stopped.
Then asked myself:
Do I want Dante or comfort?
Comfort.
I called Maya.
She complained for ten minutes about having to drive over.
Then arrived with ice cream.
Better.
Not because Dante had never comforted me.
Because I needed to learn that losing him did not mean losing every form of safety.
Dante respected the separation.
Mostly.
He sent one long email.
I did not read it for a week.
When I finally did, one sentence mattered:
I keep wanting to tell you Sofia wasn’t important enough to lose you over. I realize that makes what I did worse, not better.
Yes.
I replied with one line.
Correct.
He did not answer.
For once, he understood silence.
The following month, we started mediation.
Not divorce yet.
Separation terms.
Accounts.
Condo.
Business interests.
No children.
Nothing dramatic.
During the first meeting, Dante’s attorney asked whether reconciliation remained possible.
I answered:
“I don’t know.”
Dante looked at me.
Hope appeared.
I stopped it immediately.
“Not knowing is not yes.”
His face changed.
“I understand.”
That was the beginning of something I had not expected.
May you like
Not reconciliation.
Dante learning that uncertainty did not belong to him to resolve.
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