Chapter 28 - becoming chair made every old accusation sound possible again
Power frightened me differently once I had it.
As a board member, I could object.
As chair, my preferences shaped agendas.
Staff watched my expressions.
One raised eyebrow could redirect a conversation.
I noticed and hated it.
Adrian had once convinced me Conrad’s power contaminated every room.
He was wrong about much.
Not about power existing.
At my third meeting as chair, a junior program director presented a recommendation I disliked.
I interrupted twice.
She became flustered.
Then abandoned the proposal.
Afterward Elena found me.
“You scared her.”
“I asked questions.”
“You asked questions like Conrad.”
I stared.
“That is an insult.”
“Not always.”
She smiled.
“Today it is.”
I wanted to defend myself.
Instead I called the director.
Asked her to resubmit the proposal without me in the first review session.
She did.
It passed committee with revisions.
I still disliked part of it.
The program improved.
That experience led to another governance change.
Staff proposals would receive structured review before chair input where possible.
Not because chairs were evil.
Because hierarchy changes how freely people speak.
May you like
Adrian had understood hierarchy too well.
I wanted the foundation to understand it honestly.
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