Chapter 5 - Ethan Asked for Time, Not Custody
My first instinct was to fix everything.
That was always my instinct.
Call lawyers.
Change flights.
Book a hotel.
Get documents.
Establish paternity.
Find a pediatrician.
Arrange visits.
I stopped myself.
Bella was three.
Not a problem.
Sarah had been her entire world.
I had been a stranger for one hour.
So instead of saying, “You can’t take her to Boston,” I asked:
“Can I see her again?”
Sarah looked surprised.
“When?”
“Whenever you think is appropriate.”
That surprised her more.
I looked at Bella.
“She doesn’t know me.”
“No.”
“Does she know she has a father?”
Sarah hesitated.
“Yes.”
“What did you tell her?”
“That her dad lived far away and didn’t know how to find us yet.”
My throat tightened.
“You didn’t tell her I left.”
“No.”
“Or that I didn’t want her.”
“No.”
“Why?”
Sarah’s expression softened.
“Because I didn’t know that was true.”
That generosity hurt.
She had protected Bella from a story she could not prove.
I looked down at Ellie.
“Did you ever tell her my name?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“She’s two.”
Fair.
“What happens now?”
Sarah took a breath.
“We go home.”
“Boston.”
“Yes.”
“And me?”
“That depends on what you do next.”
I nodded.
Not what I say.
What I do.
I booked a room near the airport instead of flying to Paris.
Olivia sent twenty-one messages.
I answered one:
I am safe. We will speak tomorrow. Do not contact Sarah.
Then I called my attorney.
Not a custody lawyer.
My existing family attorney.
“I may have a daughter.”
Silence.
Then:
“Okay.”
“I don’t want anything filed.”
Another pause.
“Okay.”
“I want to know how to establish paternity without threatening the mother.”
He sounded almost relieved.
“We can do that.”
Good.
Sarah eventually boarded the Boston flight.
Before leaving, she allowed me to give Bella Ellie back.
Bella took it.
Then asked:
“Will you be here when I come back?”
The question destroyed me.
I crouched.
“I hope so.”
Sarah looked at me.
I corrected:
“If your mom says it’s okay, I’ll come see you.”
Bella considered.
Then nodded.
“Okay.”
No dramatic hug.
No “Daddy.”
Good.
As Sarah walked toward the boarding lane, I stood there alone.
My honeymoon suitcase remained beside a chair.
Black suit.
Open-collar shirt.
New wedding ring in my pocket.
Nothing about me looked like a father.
Yet somewhere past security glass, a little girl carrying my old stuffed elephant was walking onto a plane.
My attorney called back.
“We’ll need Sarah’s consent for testing if she agrees.”
“I’m not asking for court-ordered anything.”
“Understood.”
“And Olivia?”
“That is a separate issue.”
Exactly.
Fatherhood could not become leverage against Olivia.
Olivia’s betrayal could not become leverage against Sarah.
Three separate relationships.
Three separate decisions.
That afternoon Sarah sent one text.
BELLA ASKED ABOUT YOU TWICE.
I stared.
Then another.
IF YOU WANT TO COME TO BOSTON SATURDAY, TWO HOURS. PUBLIC PLACE. I’LL STAY.
I replied:
YES.
Then deleted it because it looked too intense.
I wrote:
Thank you. Tell me where and when.
Her answer:
10 a.m. Boston Public Garden.
Bella will bring Ellie.
I smiled for the first time all day.
Then Sarah added:
And Ethan?
Yes?
Don’t bring gifts.
I almost laughed.
She knew me.
Too well.
I typed:
Understood.
Then:
Can I bring snacks?
Three dots.
May you like
Apple slices.
That became my first assignment as a father.
