Chapter 6 - Leo Thought the Teddy Bear Was Keeping His Mother Safe
Leo did not understand:
share valuation.
He did not know:
buy-sell agreement.
He barely understood:
death.
What he understood was:
Mommy gave instructions.
Mommy was gone.
Daddy was angry.
Teddy had something important.
That combination created a burden adults had no right to give him.
Sarah realized it during Leo’s first session with child grief counselor Dr. Hannah Price.
Marcus attended.
Sarah attended only for the first fifteen minutes.
Hannah asked Leo:
“What did you think would happen if Daddy got Teddy?”
Leo looked at Marcus.
Then down.
“Mom’s stuff would disappear.”
Marcus went white.
“What stuff?”
Leo shrugged.
“Her important stuff.”
“Did Mom say that?”
“She said Daddy throws papers away when he’s mad.”
Marcus looked toward Sarah.
Sarah remembered Rachel saying:
Marcus throws away drafts.
Not originals.
Leo had heard:
papers disappear.
Children compress.
Then Hannah asked:
“What did you think the buzzing meant?”
“That I had to remember.”
“Remember what?”
“Teddy.”
“What if you forgot?”
Leo’s eyes filled.
“Then Mom would be mad.”
Sarah’s throat closed.
Rachel never would have wanted:
that.
Intent did not matter.
That was what Leo had experienced.
Marcus moved forward slightly.
“Buddy.”
Hannah lifted one hand.
Let him answer.
Leo said:
“I didn’t want Mom to disappear twice.”
Nobody spoke.
That sentence ended any argument Sarah had been having internally about whether the plan had been:
understandable.
It had been wrong.
Sarah later sat with Leo alone in the family room.
The teddy rested between them.
She had removed:
the claim ticket.
The collar had been repaired.
“Leo.”
He looked up.
“Aunt Sarah helped Mommy with the buzzer.”
His face changed.
“You knew?”
“Yes.”
“Did I do it right?”
Sarah felt tears rise.
“There was nothing you had to do right.”
She took his hand.
“Mommy and I made a grown-up mistake.”
“What?”
“We gave you something to worry about that belonged to adults.”
Leo looked at the teddy.
“Is Teddy bad?”
“No.”
She smiled through tears.
“Teddy is just Teddy.”
“Do I have to hide him?”
“No.”
“Can Dad take him?”
Sarah looked toward Marcus across the room.
This needed to be his answer.
Marcus came closer.
“No.”
Leo watched him.
“It’s yours.”
“Even if I make you mad?”
Marcus closed his eyes briefly.
“Even then.”
The bear stopped being:
evidence.
May you like
That was the first thing the family successfully repaired.
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