Chapter 10 - Peace With a Map
On my forty-second birthday, Elena, Mara, and a dozen women from my first workshop surprised me with dinner at a small restaurant near the water.
No chandeliers.
No private suite.
No cruise.
Just noisy tables, bad karaoke from the bar next door, and a cake leaning slightly to one side because Mara had carried it in a rideshare.
Paige was there too.
The woman who had left her fiancé after the workshop.
She brought her dog in a service vest and a new boyfriend who spent most of dinner asking people questions about themselves instead of performing charm.
I approved of him quietly.
When the cake came out, Elena had written on it:
READ THE RÉSUMÉ
Everyone laughed.
I laughed hardest.
Then I cried a little because joy still catches me off guard.
Mara lifted her glass.
“To Ashlynn.”
Elena added, “Who put the flowers down.”
Paige said, “And opened the door.”
I looked around the table.
At women safe enough to joke.
At friends who never asked me to make danger sound prettier than it was.
At the water shining beyond the restaurant windows.
My phone sat face down beside my plate.
My passport was in my own bag.
My car keys were in my own pocket.
The door was behind me, unlocked, and I knew exactly where it was.
That, I had learned, was not paranoia.
It was peace with a map.
I blew out the candles.
May you like
No wish came to mind.
For once, I did not need escape.
