Chapter 9 - Sophie Asked If Grandma Would Love Another Girl More
Children ask questions adults are not ready for.
Sophie asked hers at bedtime.
“Dad?”
“Yes?”
“If I was different, would Grandma like me?”
My chest tightened.
“Different how?”
She shrugged.
“Quieter.”
“You’re already pretty quiet.”
“Taller?”
I smiled sadly.
“No.”
“Not Rachel’s daughter?”
That one stopped me.
“Why would you ask that?”
“Grandma likes Aunt Megan’s kids.”
My sister Megan had two children.
Both older.
Both treated warmly by Margaret.
Sophie had noticed.
Of course she had.
I sat beside her.
“Grandma’s behavior is not because there is something wrong with you.”
“But she likes them.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I could have lied.
I almost did.
Then remembered how much damage my family had done with softer versions of truth.
“Grandma has a problem with wanting to control people.”
Sophie frowned.
“What does that mean?”
“She likes things to happen the way she thinks they should. Sometimes when people make their own choices, she gets angry.”
“Did I make a choice?”
“By existing?”
She looked confused.
I realized how absurd the whole family structure was from a child’s perspective.
“No, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything.”
“Then why me?”
I took a breath.
“Because Grandma sometimes takes her anger at adults and puts it on people who don’t deserve it.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“Mom?”
“Yes.”
“You?”
I smiled.
“Definitely me.”
Sophie considered that.
Then asked:
“Do I have to forgive her?”
“No.”
“Ever?”
“No.”
That answer surprised her.
I continued:
“If you ever want a relationship with Grandma again, we can talk about it. If you don’t, that is okay too.”
She moved closer.
“What if she says sorry?”
“You can listen.”
“Then I have to forgive?”
“No.”
May you like
That became one of the most important promises I made after the birthday.
No forced reconciliation because family adults felt uncomfortable with consequences.
