Chapter 29 - the question lily asked before bedtime
Lily was seven when she finally asked me about Ethan.
Not because someone told her.
Because children notice everything.
We were getting ready for bed.
She brushed her teeth.
Then looked at me in the mirror.
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“Who is Uncle Ethan?”
I smiled.
“You've met him.”
“I know.”
She rinsed her mouth.
“But why is he always with Noah and Miles?”
I sat on the edge of the bathtub.
“He's their father.”
“Oh.”
She thought about it.
“Was he your friend?”
I took a breath.
“No.”
“Was he your husband?”
“Yes.”
She turned.
“Before Dad?”
“Yes.”
“Why aren't you married anymore?”
There it was.
The question every generation eventually asks.
Why did the family change?
I didn't tell her every detail.
She didn't need adult betrayal.
But I wouldn't lie.
“Because your father and I chose each other honestly, and Ethan and I eventually realized our marriage wasn't healthy anymore.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“Yes.”
Lily's face changed.
“Did he hurt Noah and Miles?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because people can hurt one person and love another.”
She thought for a long time.
“That's confusing.”
“It is.”
“Do you hate him?”
“No.”
“Do you love him?”
I smiled.
“No.”
She nodded.
“Do you love Dad?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love me?”
I laughed.
“More than you can understand.”
She hugged me.
Then asked:
“Do Noah and Miles know the whole story?”
“They know enough.”
“Will I know someday?”
“Yes.”
“Everything?”
“When you're old enough to understand it.”
She accepted that.
Then climbed into bed.
I tucked the blanket around her.
Before turning off the light, she said:
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I'm glad you married Dad.”
My eyes filled.
“So am I.”
She smiled.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, baby.”
I walked into the hallway.
Nathan was waiting.
He had heard everything.
“How did I do?”
He kissed my forehead.
“You told the truth without giving her more pain than she needed.”
I leaned against him.
“That was harder than any presentation I've ever given.”
“I know.”
We stood quietly.
Then I whispered:
“Do you ever think about how different everything could have been?”
Nathan looked at me.
“Sometimes.”
“And?”
“I think about how good it is now.”
I smiled.
May you like
That was enough.
---
