Chapter 39 - i realized i wanted nora to dislike carlo too
Nora was twelve when she said:
“Carlo is funny.”
My body reacted absurdly.
“No, he isn’t.”
Everyone stared.
Elena raised one eyebrow.
Luca looked exhausted.
Nora held up a letter.
“He is.”
“Carlo has never been funny.”
“You’re biased.”
“I knew him for seventy years.”
“Exactly.”
I heard myself.
Old authority.
I know him.
Therefore I own the interpretation.
I stopped.
“Sorry.”
Nora narrowed her eyes.
“Why don’t you want me to like him?”
Direct hit.
I could have denied it.
Instead:
“Because it makes me nervous.”
“Why?”
“He hurt your dad.”
“I know.”
“He hurt Mom.”
Elena.
“I know.”
“He was cruel for a long time.”
“I know.”
She looked frustrated.
“I know the story.”
“Then—”
“I’m not saying he was good.”
She held up the letter.
“I said he made a funny joke about olives.”
I sat down.
Fair.
Nora continued.
“If I think he’s funny, does that hurt Dad?”
Luca answered before me.
“No.”
“Does it hurt you?”
Everyone looked at me.
I hated family democracy.
“Somewhat.”
Nora’s face fell.
I corrected quickly.
“That feeling is mine.”
“It doesn’t mean you did something wrong.”
She stared.
“Then why tell me?”
“Because you asked.”
Good enough.
Later Elena found me outside.
“You wanted Nora to confirm your version of Carlo.”
“I wanted her safe.”
“Both.”
I hated that word.
Both.
She continued.
“If Nora thinks Carlo is entirely monstrous, you never have to worry she might choose more contact.”
There.
Fear dressed as moral clarity.
Again.
“I don’t trust him.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Nora is twelve.”
“So Luca and Maya set limits.”
“Not you.”
Correct.
I looked toward the house.
Nora laughing at something Luca read from Carlo’s letter.
I remembered Carlo at twelve.
Lake water.
Mud.
Our father yelling because we ruined shoes.
A person can do terrible things later without every earlier laugh becoming fake.
Nora liking one piece of him did not absolve the rest.
I knew this intellectually.
Now I had to live it.
The next week Nora showed me another letter.
Carlo had written:
Your grandfather still owes me twelve dollars from 1978.
I replied through Nora:
Statute of limitations.
Carlo sent back:
Coward.
Nora laughed for five minutes.
So did I.
Reluctantly.
May you like
Then genuinely.
That frightened me less than expected.
Related Stories
