Chapter 4 - Richard Began Calling My Baby “The Reason Everything Changed”
My pregnancy was not unexpected.
Daniel and I wanted:
children.
Not urgently.
Eventually.
Then after five years of marriage, eventually arrived.
I became pregnant at thirty-one.
Miscarried at:
nine weeks.
Richard’s reaction was:
awkward.
Not cruel.
He said:
“Sorry, kid.”
Then changed the subject.
Carol had handled:
emotion.
Without her, Richard treated grief like:
bad weather.
Daniel shut down too.
I went through much of the loss:
alone.
A year later, I became pregnant again.
This pregnancy held.
At twenty weeks, we learned:
girl.
Daniel cried.
Richard looked pleased.
Then joked:
“Another woman coming for my money.”
I laughed.
That was a mistake.
Some jokes are trial balloons.
If everyone laughs, the speaker learns the idea can remain.
As the pregnancy progressed, our priorities changed.
I stopped wanting every weekend:
at the lake house.
The ninety-minute drive hurt my back.
The stairs were awkward.
Richard smoked cigars on the screened porch despite promising not to while I was there.
I started saying:
“No.”
Richard heard:
pregnancy controlling family.
Then finances.
Our daughter meant:
childcare,
college savings,
life insurance,
future housing decisions.
I finally told Daniel:
“We cannot keep paying everything at the lake indefinitely.”
His face changed.
“You promised Dad.”
“I promised occupancy.”
“Not unlimited financial support.”
“What do you want him to do?”
“Contribute.”
“He is sixty-six.”
“He works.”
“Barely.”
Richard’s marine shop still generated:
some income.
More important, he had:
$118,000
left from the property sale and Carol’s remaining life-insurance proceeds.
Instead of preserving it, he spent:
boat repairs,
truck,
business expenses,
helping Daniel during a weak commission year,
and more than either of them admitted on maintaining the lifestyle of:
lake-house owner.
Except he was no longer:
owner.
Pregnancy forced me to ask:
How long will this continue?
Richard blamed:
the baby.
That was easier than blaming:
May you like
math.
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