Chapter 12 - Lily’s Next Birthday Had No Donors
Lily turned nine at home.
Six children.
Pizza.
A cake she chose herself.
Chocolate with strawberry frosting.
Sarah asked whether she wanted a bakery design.
“No speeches.”
“There were not going to be speeches.”
“No fundraising.”
“Definitely not.”
“No adults in suits.”
Sarah laughed.
“Your uncle owns a suit.”
“Tell him not to wear it.”
Fair.
The party lasted three hours.
One child spilled juice.
Another sat on a cupcake.
Lily opened presents too quickly.
Nobody discussed educational access.
The most important part happened after everyone left.
Lily stood beside the remaining cake.
Sarah was putting dishes in the sink.
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“Can I smash some?”
Sarah stopped.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, with my hand.”
Not at anyone.
Just cake.
Sarah considered.
Then gave Lily a paper plate with one leftover slice.
“Outside.”
Lily carried it to the patio.
Pressed her palm into the frosting.
Laughed.
That was:
all.
Sarah had initially imagined some therapeutic symbolism.
Lily simply thought smashing cake looked fun when it was voluntary.
Good.
Then Lily asked:
“Did Victor go to jail because he’s bad?”
Sarah answered carefully.
“He pleaded guilty to crimes involving money.”
“So yes?”
“People can do bad things without every part of them being one word.”
Lily rolled her eyes.
“Adults make everything complicated.”
“Yes.”
Then:
“Did he like me?”
Harder.
“I think sometimes he did.”
“Then why did he call me useless?”
“Because liking someone doesn’t prevent a person from being cruel when they believe they have the right to control them.”
Lily thought.
Then:
“Ben wouldn’t have done that.”
Sarah’s throat tightened.
“No.”
Lily rarely called her late father Dad anymore because memory had faded.
She called him Ben sometimes because adults used his name in stories.
Sarah stopped correcting.
Relationship did not depend on vocabulary.
Then Lily said:
“Victor always said Ben was poor.”
“Ben wasn’t wealthy.”
“Was that bad?”
“No.”
“Was Victor better because he was rich?”
“No.”
“Then why did he act like that?”
Sarah smiled sadly.
“Because some people confuse having more with being more.”
Lily nodded.
Then licked frosting off her hand.
May you like
Simple enough.
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