Chapter 4 - Sarah Started Asking to Stay With Me More Often
The first time Sarah asked:
“Can I stay until Monday?”
I assumed she wanted to miss school.
It was Sunday afternoon.
She was seven.
We were packing her backpack.
“Why?”
“I like it here.”
“I like having you here.”
“Then can I?”
“You have school tomorrow.”
“I can go from here.”
Technically true.
Thirty-five-minute drive.
Possible.
But custody schedules exist for a reason.
Children need predictability.
Parents should not casually turn every preference into:
change of placement.
I said:
“Your mom expects you tonight.”
Sarah became quiet.
Two months later:
“Can I stay Wednesday too?”
“Why?”
She shrugged.
“Mom gets tired.”
“What does that mean?”
“She gets mad when she’s tired.”
I asked:
“Does she hurt you?”
“No.”
“Does she yell?”
“Sometimes.”
“Do I yell sometimes?”
She smiled.
“Yes.”
“Exactly.”
I turned:
warning
into:
normal parenting.
Again, not irrational.
Parents yell.
Children prefer whichever house has fewer rules that week.
But Sarah was not asking once.
She kept asking.
I did not ask enough:
May you like
why.
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