Chapter 20 - evan nearly proposed because stability looked like love again
Evan and Rachel dated for two years before marriage became a topic.
Not because they avoided commitment.
Because both had histories crowded with death.
Then one night Evan found himself researching rings.
Efficiently.
Of course.
Insurance.
Design.
Sizing.
Proposal locations.
Childcare.
Rachel saw the browser tabs.
She laughed until she cried.
“What?”
“You.”
Evan closed the laptop.
“I was planning.”
“Exactly.”
He felt defensive.
Then understood.
Clean panic.
Again.
“What am I afraid of?”
Rachel stopped laughing.
“Losing something good?”
“Yes.”
“And marriage feels like securing it?”
“Yes.”
Rachel sat beside him.
“I love you.”
Evan looked at her.
“But?”
“No but.”
She took his hand.
“I love you.”
“And I might marry you.”
“Might?”
“Yes.”
“Horrible.”
She smiled.
“But I’m not marrying you because Noah needs a mother.”
“I know.”
“Or because Sophie needs a father.”
“I know.”
“Or because Claire chose me.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
Evan took time.
Then:
“I’m learning.”
No proposal happened that month.
They talked instead.
Finances.
Children.
Grief.
Names.
Guardianship.
What Rachel wanted professionally.
What Evan expected unconsciously.
Much less romantic.
Much safer.
Six months later Rachel proposed to him.
At home.
No ring.
“Want to keep doing this legally?”
Evan stared.
“That is the worst proposal in history.”
“Answer.”
“Yes.”
Then he kissed her.
Present.
May you like
Unplanned.
Alive.
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