Chapter 24 - evan discovered he had turned claire’s letter into another manual
The realization embarrassed him.
Noah was nine.
Evan still kept the original feeding chart.
Not weird.
Sentimental.
What was weird?
He quoted Claire too often.
Noah noticed first.
“Mom Claire said you do that.”
When Evan overworked.
“Mom Claire said you listen late.”
When he missed a school detail.
“Mom Claire said stay interruptible.”
When he checked email during dinner.
The phrases had become family shorthand.
Then Noah snapped.
“I don’t care what Mom Claire said.”
Silence.
Instant regret crossed his face.
Evan felt pain.
Sharp.
Then Rachel spoke.
“Okay.”
Noah stared.
Rachel continued.
“You’re allowed.”
Evan said nothing.
Hardest thing.
Later Noah apologized.
Evan stopped him.
“You can be angry at a dead person.”
“I wasn’t angry at her.”
“At me?”
“Yes.”
Fair.
“You keep using her like she’s still giving rules.”
There.
Claire’s interruption had become another manual.
Evan had been so determined not to forget her wisdom that he had started outsourcing his own growth to her sentences.
Rachel said later:
“She told you not to make Noah’s childhood about her.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
Apparently not enough.
Evan put the letter away.
Not hidden.
Not sacredly displayed.
Available.
But not consulted every time life became uncertain.
May you like
Claire had taught him a habit.
She had not asked to become one.
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