Chapter 11 - Lauren Thought Leaving Meant She Had Failed
The hardest part had nothing to do with court.
One evening Lauren sat on my porch and said:
“I feel stupid.”
“For what?”
“For staying.”
I shook my head.
She continued before I could interrupt.
“I’m twenty-seven. You taught me better.”
That sentence hurt.
Because she thought the skills I taught her as a child were supposed to make her immune to manipulation.
“No,” I said.
She looked at me.
“I taught you how to change a tire and throw a baseball. I never taught you some magic trick that makes another person’s behavior your fault.”
“But I kept forgiving him.”
“Yes.”
“I kept believing him.”
“Yes.”
She waited for judgment.
I gave her none.
Then I said:
“Leaving eventually does not become failure because leaving earlier would have been better.”
Her eyes filled.
“You really believe that?”
“Yes.”
She leaned back in the chair.
For the first time, I saw something loosen in her shoulders.
Dustin had spent months teaching Lauren to review every incident through the question:
What did I do to cause this?
Healing began when she started asking:
May you like
What did he choose to do?
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