Chapter 11 - Michael’s Slap Became Something He Had to Explain to His Son
Ben asked first.
“Why could you hit Victoria when she couldn’t hit Emily?”
Michael answered immediately.
“I couldn’t.”
Ben frowned.
“But you did.”
“Yes.”
“She had a weapon.”
“The switch was already on the floor when I slapped her.”
Ben considered.
“She might have picked it back up.”
“I was between her and you.”
“So why?”
Michael looked at his son.
“Because I was furious.”
Ben waited.
“I wanted to hurt her.”
There.
No protective mythology.
Michael had stopped the immediate threat when he removed the switch.
The slap came afterward.
Retaliation.
Not necessary defense.
Then Emily asked:
“Do you regret it?”
“Yes.”
“But you were mad because of me.”
“Yes.”
“Does that make it better?”
“No.”
That answer bothered her.
Good.
Children often want parental violence to prove love.
Michael did not want Emily learning:
Someone hurting people for me means I matter.
So he said:
“Protecting you means stopping danger. Anger afterward is mine to manage.”
Then he completed several anger-management sessions.
Not because a court ordered him.
Because he recognized a pattern.
He did not hit people generally.
But he bottled anger.
Then exploded.
Sarah had complained about it during marriage.
Not physical violence toward her.
Doors slammed.
Voice raised.
Once shattered a phone against a desk.
Michael had always said:
“I never touch anyone.”
Too low a standard.
Then Victoria received an apology through counsel.
After removing the switch from your hand and putting myself between you and the children, I slapped you because I was enraged. I should not have done that.
She replied:
Thank you for saying it accurately.
Nothing else.
Then her apology to Emily.
First draft:
I am sorry I lost control because I believed you had taken private documents.
Helen rejected the framing.
Second:
I hit you twice with a wooden switch because I was angry that you would not tell me where the Household Stability file was. You were ten. Nothing you did made that acceptable.
Better.
Then:
I also told you your father would choose me over you because I wanted you to be afraid that resisting me had consequences beyond discipline. That was cruel and false.
Emily eventually read the letter.
She did not reply.
Ben refused to read his.
Victoria had written him one too.
His right.
Then Michael asked:
“Do you hate her?”
Ben said:
“Yes.”
A year later:
“Less.”
Three years later:
May you like
“I don’t think about her.”
The last answer was the healthiest.
