Chapter 12 - The Second Apology Was About The Bouquet
Julian’s first apology for hitting me had been:
“I’m sorry. I lost control.”
Months later, he tried again.
“I’m sorry I hit you with the bouquet.”
Better.
Then:
“You did nothing physically threatening to me. I was humiliated and angry, and I used that anger against you.”
I stayed quiet.
He continued.
“I spent weeks wanting to say I wasn’t the kind of man who hits women because it was flowers and because it happened once.”
My stomach tightened.
“And?”
“I realized the sentence was designed to protect how I saw myself.”
That was exactly right.
He looked at me.
“I struck you because I wanted you to feel some of what I felt. That was retaliation. I’m ashamed of it.”
I believed him.
Forgiveness began there.
Not reconciliation.
Forgiveness.
People confuse those constantly.
I could stop carrying daily rage without returning to the relationship.
I could believe Julian regretted hurting me without betting my future on whether he would ever do it again.
I could hope he became better and still choose not to be the person who tested the improvement.
May you like
That was freedom too.
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