Chapter 6 - The Pregnancy Arrived After We Had Almost Stopped Believing It Would
Daniel and I had tried for a child for almost three years.
The first year:
casual.
Second:
testing.
Third:
fertility appointments.
Nothing catastrophic.
My ovarian reserve looked slightly low for my age.
Daniel’s testing normal.
One doctor recommended moving to IUI.
We scheduled it.
Then canceled after one of the worst fights of our marriage.
The fight was about:
Vanessa.
Of course.
I had discovered Daniel agreed to cover Lucas’s junior-year tuition without discussing it with me.
Full amount:
$35,800.
“You committed our money.”
“Our money.”
“Exactly.”
“You weren’t going to say yes?”
“That isn’t the point.”
“Then what?”
“That you decided my answer did not matter.”
Daniel stared.
Then:
“You decide everything because you make more.”
I stopped.
“I have never said that.”
“You don’t have to.”
That sentence stayed.
We stopped fertility treatment.
Not officially forever.
Just:
not now.
Then our intimacy became:
inconsistent.
Mechanical sometimes.
Tender other times.
We were still married.
Still loved each other somewhere beneath:
resentment.
Then I became pregnant naturally.
I found out:
alone.
Daniel was in Boston on a client trip.
I sat on the bathroom floor with the test in my hand and cried.
Not entirely happiness.
Fear.
Because pregnancy arrived precisely when our marriage felt:
least safe.
I booked an appointment.
Eight weeks.
Heartbeat.
The technician printed:
one photograph.
I looked at the tiny shape and thought:
Tell Daniel first.
No games.
No announcement box.
No family group chat.
I texted:
Can we have lunch Thursday? Just us?
He replied:
Yes. Need to talk too.
Just us.
Then Vanessa was sitting there.
May you like
That choice told me more about the marriage than the petition itself.
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