Chapter 3 - Rebecca Lost a Pregnancy Two Years Before Lily Was Born
Rebecca wanted children badly.
Her husband, Nathan Cole, did too.
They began trying about a year after marriage.
Nothing happened.
Then:
fertility testing.
Procedures.
Medication.
Appointments.
They eventually conceived.
At eleven weeks, Rebecca miscarried.
She was devastated.
The pregnancy had been private outside immediate family.
Helen took the loss almost as if it had happened to:
her.
She cried constantly.
Created a small box with:
the ultrasound image,
a knitted blanket,
a hospital bracelet.
Rebecca did not want:
the box.
Mom kept it anyway.
Six months later, Rebecca said:
“I think Mom is grieving harder than I am.”
I answered:
“She loves you.”
That was true.
Incomplete.
Helen had attached something else to the pregnancy.
It was supposed to establish:
Rebecca as first mother.
The correct order preserved.
After the miscarriage, Helen began saying:
“She’ll get her baby.”
Not:
maybe.
Not:
when she’s ready.
“She will.”
Rebecca hated it.
She eventually told our mother:
“Stop talking about my body like a project.”
Helen cried.
Dad called Rebecca.
“Your mother’s hurting too.”
Rebecca answered:
“It wasn’t her pregnancy.”
That conversation should have taught all of us something.
Instead we treated it as:
grief conflict.
May you like
Then I became pregnant.
---
