Chapter 13 - Ivy and Owen Were Not Forced to Forgive Their Mother
The family court process was slow.
No dramatic ruling at midnight.
Evaluations.
Interviews.
Medical assessments.
Financial review.
Therapy.
Vanessa initially received no unsupervised contact.
Later, supervised visits were considered.
Ivy refused the first one.
Owen asked if food would be there.
Those responses shaped the therapists’ recommendations.
Eventually Vanessa wrote each child a letter.
The first drafts were rejected by the family therapist.
Too much justification.
I was trying to teach you.
I was stressed.
Your father was gone.
The therapist sent them back.
Months later, Vanessa tried again.
To Ivy:
I used food and clothing to control your behavior. I made you feel as if basic care had to be earned. That was wrong.
To Owen:
You should never have had to hide food for yourself or your sister. Adults were supposed to make sure both of you were fed.
Better.
Still not enough to require forgiveness.
Vittorio told the children:
“You can read them.”
“Do we have to answer?” Ivy asked.
“No.”
“Do we have to love her?”
That question hurt differently.
“You don’t have to decide that today.”
Ivy nodded.
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Children should not be assigned adult emotional deadlines.
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