Chapter 49 - graham watched mara pack and finally kept his hands still
Mara was seventeen when she was accepted into a six-week summer program in London.
Graham reacted as though she had enlisted for war.
“Six weeks?”
“Yes.”
“London?”
“Yes.”
“Alone?”
“With forty-two students and faculty.”
“International.”
“That is generally how London works.”
Maisie stared at him.
History repeating itself with improved jokes.
Graham was older now.
Gray.
Slower.
Still Graham.
He turned to Maisie.
“You’re okay with this?”
She laughed.
“No.”
Mara looked up.
“What?”
Maisie corrected.
“I mean emotionally.”
“Practically, yes.”
Mara smiled.
“Good distinction.”
The suitcase came out.
Not the old suitcase.
That one was still in Maisie’s basement storage.
Mara had her own.
Bright red.
Four wheels.
Far too expensive.
Daniel blamed Graham.
Correctly.
Everyone gathered while Mara packed.
Graham stood near the doorway.
Maisie watched him.
He did not touch anything.
Not one shirt.
Not one passport.
Not one charger.
His hands remained in his pockets.
Mara noticed too.
“Grandpa?”
“Yes?”
“You can help.”
His eyes widened.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Shoes?”
“Do not get excited.”
He packed one pair.
Badly.
Mara removed them and repacked.
“Why ask?”
“So you feel useful.”
Cruel.
Accurate.
Later, Graham found Maisie downstairs.
“You’re scared.”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
She stared.
“What?”
“I thought maybe you became better than me.”
“Absolutely not.”
He smiled.
Maisie sat beside him.
“What are you scared of?”
“Everything.”
“Plane.”
“City.”
“People.”
“Her anxiety coming back.”
“Something happening and us being six hours away.”
Graham nodded.
“And?”
Maisie looked upstairs.
“That if I show her how scared I am, she’ll think staying is love.”
Graham went quiet.
There.
The lesson.
He understood better than anyone.
“Then tell her the truth carefully.”
Maisie did.
That evening:
“I’m scared because I love you and because parents imagine terrible things.”
Mara stared.
“Okay.”
“But I think the program is safe enough.”
“You trust me?”
“Yes.”
“You trust London?”
“No.”
Mara laughed.
“Reasonable.”
At the airport, Graham hugged her.
Then released first.
Mara smiled.
“You practiced.”
“What?”
“Not holding too long.”
“I have no idea what you mean.”
She boarded.
Maisie cried.
Graham cried.
Daniel bought coffee because somebody had to function.
Six weeks later Mara returned.
Safe.
Tired.
More independent.
Missing half her socks.
Graham looked at Maisie.
“See?”
She glared.
“You were worse.”
“Absolutely.”
The cycle had changed.
May you like
Not because fear vanished.
Because fear no longer made the itinerary.
