Chapter 5 - I Started Paying Diane’s Mortgage After Dad’s Life Insurance Ran Low
Thomas left:
life insurance,
retirement,
house.
Not enormous.
Enough.
Diane was fifty-seven when he died.
She had worked:
part-time in school administration
for years.
No full pension.
The house still had:
$146,000
on the mortgage.
Dad’s life-insurance payout:
$325,000.
His retirement accounts:
approximately $410,000.
With sensible planning, Diane could live:
comfortably enough,
especially if she downsized eventually.
She did not.
Why?
The house was:
Dad.
The furniture.
Garage.
Dining table.
Front door.
Every room became:
memorial.
I understood.
So did Ryan.
Then Diane began helping:
Ryan.
A lot.
$30,000 to cover business cleanup.
$18,000 during divorce.
$9,000 for his truck.
Several smaller transfers.
By the time I realized how much, Diane’s liquid savings had dropped sharply.
I said:
“Mom, you cannot keep funding him.”
She looked offended.
“He’s my son.”
“So am I.”
“You don’t need anything.”
That was supposed to be:
compliment.
It felt like:
punishment.
The responsible child receives:
less support
because she appears:
responsible.
Then later is expected to support:
everyone.
When Diane struggled with her mortgage, I started transferring:
$1,450 a month.
Temporary.
Again.
The most dangerous word in our family.
I told her:
“Until we decide what you’re doing with the house.”
Three years later:
still paying.
No decision.
Why?
Every time I brought up selling, Diane cried.
“I’m not leaving your father.”
I could not fight:
a dead man.
May you like
So I kept paying.
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