Chapter 13 - Marcus finally wrote the apology without mentioning DNA
His first apology to Emily was terrible.
Susan never gave it to her.
It began:
Now that I know you are my daughter...
Susan stopped reading.
She returned it through Marcus’s therapist.
The problem was obvious.
The apology made biology the reason for remorse.
Marcus tried again.
The second letter was better but still contained explanations about grief, Evan, and his difficulty becoming a stepfather.
Returned again.
Emily did not need a forty-year-old man asking a child to understand his unresolved rivalry with a dead brother.
The third letter was four paragraphs.
Emily,
I hit you because I was angry and wanted you to stop crying. That was wrong.
You did not cause it by crying, being upset, talking about your dad, or doing anything else.
I also said cruel things to you before that day because I made my own feelings your problem.
I am sorry.
I do not expect you to see me, forgive me, or call me anything you do not want to call me.
Marcus.
Susan read it to Emily only after Victoria agreed.
Emily listened.
Then asked:
“Why doesn’t he say he’s my biological dad?”
Victoria answered, “Because the apology shouldn’t depend on that.”
Emily nodded.
“That’s better.”
She did not reply.
Marcus was told only that she received it.
For months, that was all.
His therapy continued.
He worked through grief for Evan that he had never allowed himself to express cleanly.
He also confronted something uglier than grief.
Envy.
Evan had died loved.
Marcus remained alive feeling compared with him.
He had converted that resentment into harshness toward a child.
The DNA result exposed the absurdity, but therapy exposed the deeper problem.
Marcus’s behavior had always depended too much on what people represented to him rather than who they actually were.
Victoria represented being chosen.
Evan represented competition.
Emily represented Evan’s permanence.
Lucas represented success as a father.
Once he saw people as symbols, controlling them became easier.
Repair required seeing them again as separate human beings.
Especially Emily.
May you like
A child who owed him absolutely nothing.
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