Chapter 4 - Gloria’s Grief Turned Into Resentment
My mother lost:
a daughter.
Then immediately became responsible for that daughter’s grieving child.
People praised her.
“You’re amazing.”
“Megan would be so proud.”
“Lizzy is lucky to have you.”
At first, Gloria absorbed the praise.
Then I started hearing:
something else.
“I already raised my kids.”
Fair.
“I thought retirement would finally be mine.”
Also fair.
“Every day is about Lizzy.”
Hard.
Caregivers are allowed to feel:
burdened.
What matters is what they do with:
that feeling.
I suggested:
respite care.
Gloria refused.
“I don’t want strangers raising her.”
I suggested:
after-school program.
“Too expensive.”
“It’s subsidized.”
“I said no.”
Therapy?
“I’m not discussing family business with some twenty-five-year-old with a degree.”
Mom stopped attending grief groups too.
Then began using:
the benefits
as emotional proof.
“I’m not doing this for free.”
One day she laughed after saying it.
I laughed too.
Later, it stopped sounding like:
May you like
a joke.
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