Chapter 28 - jonah finally told me he had been afraid to become the favorite again
Jonah was twenty when he admitted it.
We were at Tessa’s house for Thanksgiving.
He had grown taller than everyone.
Unfair.
Bennett came for dessert.
Corinne came earlier and left before him.
Not because they could not be in the same room.
Because nobody needed divorced adults to perform friendship for us.
After dinner Jonah and I sat on the porch.
He was quiet.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
I stared.
He sighed.
“I got an internship.”
“Good.”
“At Dad’s company.”
I stopped.
Bennett ran a regional engineering firm.
Not huge.
Successful.
Jonah studied mechanical engineering.
The internship made sense.
My chest still tightened.
Jonah saw.
“There.”
“What?”
“Face.”
“I’m allowed a face.”
“Yes.”
He looked toward the yard.
“I almost turned it down.”
“Why?”
He did not answer.
Then I understood.
“Me?”
“Kind of.”
I became angry.
“Jonah.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t.”
I turned toward him.
“You’re allowed to work with your father.”
“I know.”
“Then why—”
“Because I’m scared of becoming the favorite again.”
That silenced me.
Jonah’s eyes filled.
“When Dad pays for something, I still check whether you got something too.”
My stomach dropped.
“What?”
“When he bought me a laptop for school, I asked if he bought you one.”
“He told me that was none of my business.”
Good answer from Bennett.
Jonah continued.
“When he says he’s proud, part of me thinks maybe he’s proving the old thing.”
“Biological son.”
“Yes.”
He cried.
“I know he’s changed.”
“But I don’t want anything from him that looks bigger than what you get.”
The fire was still organizing him too.
Different direction.
I took his hand.
“Jonah.”
He looked at me.
“You taking less does not give me more.”
His face broke.
“You sure?”
“No.”
I smiled through tears.
“I’m still jealous sometimes.”
He laughed.
“Great.”
“But my jealousy is not a family policy.”
That sentence mattered.
I continued.
“If Dad—”
I stopped.
Jonah noticed.
So did I.
Dad.
I had said it without planning.
For Bennett.
Not Evan.
Not a courtroom.
Porch.
Thanksgiving.
Jonah’s eyes widened.
“Did you just—”
“Shut up.”
He grinned.
“Maren.”
“Say one word and I’ll throw you into traffic.”
“There is no traffic.”
“Tessa owns a car.”
He laughed.
I continued.
“If Bennett gives you something because he’s your father and because your relationship has grown, that isn’t automatically stealing from me.”
Jonah looked unconvinced.
“What if it is favoritism?”
“Then we name it.”
“We ask why.”
“We don’t prevent every future difference because one difference used to be unfair.”
He nodded slowly.
“Take the internship.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“You won’t hate me?”
“I’ll hate you if you become an engineer who talks about load-bearing structures at dinner.”
“Already happening.”
“Then our relationship is doomed.”
He accepted.
The following summer Bennett hired him.
Paid normal intern wages.
No special title.
Jonah complained.
Apparently accountability did not mean nepotism.
I found that hilarious.
One afternoon Bennett called me.
Not Jonah.
“You encouraged him?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t make it weird.”
“I wasn’t.”
Then he said:
“I’m proud of both of you.”
My body reacted.
Both.
Old ranking.
Then I heard the sentence differently.
Not equal because identical.
Both.
Jonah building his relationship with Bennett did not reduce mine.
My relationship changing did not require Jonah to apologize for having his.
May you like
Nobody was being chosen out.
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