Chapter 12 - Carla’s Apology Failed Until She Stopped Explaining What Lily Did
The first apology came through:
our mother.
“Carla is devastated.”
I answered:
“Good.”
“Naomi.”
“She broke Lily’s leg.”
“She didn’t mean to.”
“She meant to hurt her.”
Silence.
Mom eventually said:
“Yes.”
That mattered.
Our mother had spent years minimizing Dad’s discipline too.
Now she heard:
herself.
Carla sent a letter.
I’m sorry I lost my temper, but Lily had been disrespectful all afternoon and I felt like you never back me up.
I stopped reading.
Not apology.
Argument with:
sorry
at the front.
Six months later, after completing court-ordered? We should be careful. Let's say voluntary anger management/parenting program as part of diversion? There could be legal process. Need realistic. She may face misdemeanor child endangering / assault depending jurisdiction. Let's explain later perhaps.
Carla wrote again.
Different.
I struck Lily because I was angry that she challenged my authority.
I wanted it to hurt enough that she would remember not to talk to me that way.
I did not intend to break her leg, but I did intend pain.
That sentence was terrible.
And honest.
Then:
I spent years treating the help I gave you as permission to parent her.
It wasn’t.
There.
Finally.
I read the whole letter.
Did not answer for:
three weeks.
Then:
I received it. I am not ready for contact.
Nothing more.
An apology should not purchase:
access.
May you like
That was another family lesson we had needed for years.
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