Chapter 7 - Carla Thought Paying for Things Made Her More of a Parent
Carla also spent money on Lily.
A lot.
Not because I asked.
Clothes.
Birthday gifts.
Dance lessons one semester when Lily wanted to try ballet.
A tablet.
Summer camp deposit.
At first I said:
“You don’t have to.”
Carla answered:
“I want to.”
Then later, during arguments, those gifts appeared.
“I paid for her camp.”
“I bought those shoes.”
“I’ve spent thousands on that child.”
Money became:
evidence of authority.
One Christmas, I told Carla not to buy Lily a new phone.
“She’s eight.”
“It would just be Wi-Fi.”
“No.”
Carla bought one anyway.
I returned it.
She was furious.
“You humiliated me.”
“I said no.”
“I’m her aunt.”
“Exactly.”
She did not speak to me for:
ten days.
Then my work trip came up.
I needed someone to stay with Lily two nights.
Guess who I called.
Carla came.
No discussion of:
the phone.
That was our family system.
Conflict.
Silence.
Need.
Reconnection without resolution.
Each cycle taught Carla:
Naomi will object.
Naomi will still come back.
So the boundary cannot be that serious.
She was wrong.
May you like
I also made it easy for her to believe.
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