Chapter 12 - I Had to Answer for Hitting Vanessa Too
The country club incident did not disappear because Vanessa had been:
cruel.
I slapped:
her.
Then threw:
cake.
No injury.
Still physical retaliation.
She threatened:
civil action.
Could she have pursued something?
Potentially.
My attorney said:
“You don’t get a legal exemption because everyone understands why you were angry.”
Correct.
I apologized for:
my conduct.
Not for:
defending Lucy.
Different.
I told Vanessa through counsel:
“I should have removed Lucy and left.”
“I should not have hit you.”
No:
but.
I also apologized to:
Lucy.
She looked confused.
“Why?”
“Because I hit Aunt Vanessa.”
“She deserved it.”
Seven-year-old jurisprudence.
I almost smiled.
Then:
“Adults still have to stop themselves when we can.”
“Even if they’re mean?”
“Especially then.”
She thought about:
that.
Then asked:
“Was throwing cake bad?”
“Yes.”
“Was it funny?”
Unfortunately:
yes.
I said:
“It was also not a good choice.”
Lucy smiled.
That was the beginning of my own correction.
Protective fatherhood did not require:
explosiveness.
It required:
clarity.
Leave.
Set boundaries.
Use systems.
May you like
Do not make your child watch you become another frightening adult.
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