Chapter 4 - My Mother Thought Vanessa Was the Better Disciplinarian
Diane had always compared:
us.
Not cruelly enough that anyone outside the family would notice.
Vanessa:
organized.
Practical.
“Tough.”
Rachel:
sensitive.
“Soft.”
When we became mothers, the categories followed us.
If Lily misbehaved and Vanessa corrected her, Mom said:
“Good. She needs boundaries.”
If Emma melted down and I comforted her, Mom said:
“You’re making it worse.”
One Sunday Emma refused to sit at the table because her chicken touched mashed potatoes.
She was three.
I moved the food apart.
Mom laughed.
“In my day, children ate what was served.”
I answered:
“In your day people smoked in restaurants.”
She did not appreciate:
the comparison.
Vanessa laughed.
Then said:
“See? Rachel has an answer for everything.”
It became a family joke.
Soft Rachel.
Tough Vanessa.
That joke created:
authority.
When Emma stayed with Vanessa, everyone assumed Vanessa’s rules applied.
Correct to a point.
But household rules are not:
parental ownership.
May you like
Nobody defined where the line was.
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