Chapter 10 - Vanessa’s Apology Took Three Attempts
The first letter arrived two months later.
Lily, I am sorry that therapy became frightening for you.
Ethan stopped.
Too passive.
Therapy did not become frightening.
Vanessa made it frightening.
The therapist reviewing contact agreed the letter should not be given to Lily yet.
Second attempt:
I am sorry I pushed you too hard because I was afraid you would stop trying.
Better.
Still incomplete.
Third:
I sprayed water into your face after you cried because I wanted you to stop reacting. I told you your father was tired of you because I knew that would frighten you into obeying me. I scheduled extra sessions because I believed I knew better than your rehabilitation team. I was wrong.
Ethan read slowly.
Then:
You did not cause my behavior by crying, being afraid, using your wheelchair, asking for Rose, or wanting to stop when you hurt.
There.
Then Vanessa addressed Rose.
I treated Rose’s protection of you as disloyalty to me. That was backwards. Her job was your safety, not my authority.
Ethan sent the letter to Lily’s therapist.
Months later Lily chose to read it.
She made it halfway.
Stopped.
“Do I have to finish?”
“No.”
“Do I have to answer?”
“No.”
She folded it.
Then asked:
“Is she better now?”
Ethan considered.
“I don’t know.”
“But she said sorry.”
“Yes.”
“That means better.”
“Sometimes it means someone understands more than before.”
Not promise.
Then Lily put the letter in a drawer.
A year later she read the rest herself.
Still did not reply.
May you like
That was allowed.
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