Chapter 6 - Lucas called them “Dad-away rules”
Dr. Rebecca Shaw, the child psychologist Ethan hired after the gallery incident, never asked Lucas to list every frightening thing Vanessa had done.
She let him describe his world.
That produced something more useful.
Lucas divided household rules into two categories.
Normal rules.
And Dad-away rules.
Normal rules:
Brush teeth.
No jumping from the staircase.
Ask before taking cookies.
Put riding boots by the mudroom.
Dad-away rules were different.
Don’t cry loudly.
Don’t talk about Mom Emily unless Vanessa asks.
Don’t call Grace when Vanessa is “teaching.”
Don’t enter Dad’s office.
Don’t sit in Dad’s chair.
Don’t tell Dad things that would make him angry with Vanessa.
Rebecca asked:
“What happened if you broke a Dad-away rule?”
Lucas shrugged first.
Then:
“She grabs.”
“Where?”
“My arm.”
“What else?”
“She says Grace can go away.”
“What else?”
Lucas started picking at his sleeve.
“She says Daddy picked her and I was there first but that doesn’t mean I win.”
Rebecca did not correct the language immediately.
“What did you think ‘win’ meant?”
Lucas answered:
“Get to stay.”
That was the deepest wound.
Vanessa had turned family belonging into a competition the child believed he could lose.
Rebecca later explained it to Ethan.
“Lucas does not appear primarily afraid of punishment. He’s afraid of displacement.”
Ethan looked at her.
“He thinks I’ll send him away.”
“Yes.”
“Because of Vanessa?”
“Because she linked your love to his behavior.”
Ethan lowered his head.
Rebecca continued:
“And because you were absent during most of the incidents, Lucas had no contradictory experience available in the moment.”
That was hard but fair.
Ethan loved his son.
Lucas knew that.
But when a five-year-old repeatedly hears that the absent parent has secretly chosen the other adult, love becomes something abstract.
May you like
Fear happens in the room.
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