Chapter 11 - I Had to Answer for the Slap and the Punch
What Claire and Julian had done did not make my violence disappear.
I slapped Claire.
She was not attacking me in that moment.
I was furious.
Terrified.
My baby was behind a padlocked door.
My daughter was screaming that her mother was lying.
But I still chose to hit Claire.
Then Julian lunged at me.
I punched him in the stomach and sent him into the glass cabinet.
His action gave me a more immediate reason to defend myself.
Even so, Officer Davis had been standing feet away.
I was not alone.
I was not trapped.
When investigators asked what happened, I did not rewrite the scene.
“I slapped my wife.”
“Why?”
“Because I lost control.”
That answer mattered.
Later Lily asked:
“Why did you hit Mommy?”
There was no version of the truth I liked.
So I gave her the one she deserved.
“I was scared and angry. I should have protected you and your brother without hitting her.”
“But Mommy lied.”
“Yes.”
“Was she bad?”
“She made dangerous choices.”
Lily thought about that.
Then asked:
“Are you still mad?”
“Yes.”
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Children deserve adults who can admit anger without turning anger into permission.
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