Chapter 16 - WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT PROTECTION
I spent years calling myself protective.
Protective son.
Protective husband.
Protective provider.
After Laura, I questioned the word.
Protection can become control if you stop asking what the other person wants.
Mom taught me that.
She did not need me to make every decision.
She needed me to believe her.
Help when asked.
Intervene when danger was real.
Then step back.
That was harder than anger.
Anger feels active.
Respect often looks like restraint.
I started speaking at caregiver workshops through Dana’s legal network.
Not as an expert.
As someone who got things wrong.
I told families:
“Do not confuse assistance with authority.”
Then:
“Do not confuse age with incapacity.”
And:
“If someone resists your plan, that is not proof they cannot decide.”
May you like
Mom approved that last one.
Of course she did.
