Chapter 2 - Lily Asked Whether She Was Allowed to Eat
Claire drove twenty minutes before realizing she was shaking too badly to continue.
She pulled into the parking lot of an all-night pharmacy and turned off the engine.
Christmas lights blinked from storefront windows.
Lily sat quietly in the back seat.
Too quietly.
Claire turned around.
“You okay, baby?”
Lily nodded.
Then whispered:
“Am I still bad?”
Claire felt something inside her crack.
“What?”
“Grandma said I had enough.”
“You weren’t bad.”
“I was hungry.”
“I know.”
Lily looked toward the dark window.
Then asked the question Claire would remember longer than Margaret’s slap.
“Am I allowed to eat now?”
Claire unbuckled immediately.
She climbed into the back seat and pulled Lily against her.
“Yes.”
“How much?”
“As much as your body needs.”
“Grandma says my body lies.”
Claire stopped.
“What does that mean?”
Lily shrugged.
“She says when my tummy says hungry, it’s just being greedy.”
Claire’s hands went cold.
“How often does Grandma say that?”
Another shrug.
A five-year-old’s answer to something that had become normal.
“When Daddy’s at work.”
Claire stared at her daughter.
Then corrected herself internally.
No.
Daniel had not been at work much lately.
He had been home.
Which meant Lily’s next answer mattered even more.
“Does Daddy know?”
Lily looked down.
“Yes.”
Claire closed her eyes.
Christmas had not been the first meal.
May you like
It had only been the first one Claire watched them take.
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